Oh, beerfestival..

In honor of seeing my beerfest partners this past weekend, I dug through the archives for the jorts photos that we took while happily drinking our way through 150 breweries in June. Personally, I like the faded look. These bad boys make me nervous that they're going to disintegrate and fall away at any second. Cheers, gov'nor!

Conundrum...

Major moral dilemma- currently, I am babysitting for a family in the neighborhood a few afternoons per week while I look for a job. The fam is kind of quirky, but super nice. Both parents are lawyers, but the Dad often works from home in the afternoons while I watch their son. The last two afternoons he's been home, he's been walking around wearing... JORTS.

And they're bad. I mean, if I passed him in the mall, I would take a million cell phone photos, but I can't because a) I'd like to keep the only form of income that I have and b) I would look like a total creeper taking pics as he gets the milk out of the fridge. It takes every once of self control that I have not to fall down in hysterics. What's a girl to do?

Compliments of a sorority sister of mine, this lovely lady was found in Hilton Head, SC. Now, I rarely target women when I go jorts huntin' because I'm really not opposed to jean shorts for girls. Done well, they can look cute!

These are neither done well, nor are they cute. Also, is she doing knee-ups down a boardwalk?

Another gem found during wedding preparations in OBX. His shorts are jean, his hems are cuffed and, yes, his legs are indeed clean-shaven. Maybe he should take a lesson in being a man from another member of his quartet?

Things that are unsettling in this picture: 

1. Length- below the knee? C'mon! These are approx 2 inches shorts of the elusive japri
2. Whitewashing- a trend that I never really understood in the first place. Why would you want to look like you just sat on a freshly painted park bench, or slid across a just bleached floor?  
3. Pleated pocket- i feel like that would be slightly uncomfortable to sit on.  

This action shot is compliments of my BFF, who captured this while on vacay in OBX.  What makes this more puzzling is why this jorter is running into Brew-Thru, a drive through beer distributor.  Oh, and the skinny nature of the jorts paired with cuffing.  Almost forgot about that.

The story that goes along with this is every bit as good as the picture.  The day before my one of my best friend's weddings, we (the bridesmaids) were setting up the bridal suite.  In all of the chaos, we managed to lock ourselves out.  No one in the building had a spare key, or the correct key, and this "maintenance man" wound up helping us by breaking into the door using a knife.  At least the lengthy process gave us ample time to capture his sweet sense of style. 

Over the years, I have collected so many pictures, that I can't always remember the funny anecdotes that go along with them, but that doesn't mean the world should be deprived of seeing these jort selections in action. 

Despite my deep hatred for jorts, I LOVE country music.  This couple is living proof that there is no better place to go jorts huntin' than a CMT-sponsored event.  God Bless America. 

If there's anything I'm sure of, it's that this gentleman was a birthday gift to me, directly from the God of Jorts.  I happened upon him in the DMV while replacing my license on my 23rd birthday.  The black-on-black footwear makes this an especially thoughtful present.  

This is the first of many "jorts on the beach" shots that I have in my arsenal.  There is just no way that this is comfortable.  Think of the extreme chaffing that must occur.

I'm not even really sure how to feel about this one at all.  Also taken while working at school.  I think what I like best about this statement is the clear disregard for fit.  And the tucked in tee shirt. 

"This kid is dressed exactly like 73% of the engineers at Tech... VT Hat, Jean Shorts, long tube socks, high top sneakers, and usually a VT shirt of some sort... in this case it's his undershirt." -- a fellow VT Engineer

This gentleman was my first dabble in stealthy cell phone photography.  Little did I know how this would erupt...